Thankful Thursday

* I'm grateful for my wood stove with a window in the front so I curl up and just stare at the flames.
* Sleep. Where would I be without the opportunity to reset and restart?
* I love my babies and I'm so thankful for each one and the blessings that they have brought to me.
* I'm grateful for music and the influence for good that it has.
* I'm grateful for new opportunities and adventures
* My best friend
* I'm thankful for all the people in my life that have lifted me up and made me who I am.
* The gift of the Holy Ghost.
* The plan of happiness.
* New challenges! Give me mountains to climb!....but not ...you know...hard, ugly mountains.
* I'm grateful for good books. I'm grateful that I can read and learn. I'm thankful for the resources that are open to me.
*The scriptures and words of the prophets.
*Love

Yet another post of random thoughts

~I lead a blessed life. I really do. I'm so grateful for my own little family and the love we share.
~ Someday I will have to stop calling my family little and face the facts that we are a family of six. SIX! When did this happen? Where was I?
~ It's amazing how just when you feel like you're getting the hang of things they change and you have to adapt. You're just getting comfortable and suddenly you're pushed out of the zone and you have to grow some more.
~I'll be so glad when this election is over! Will I be happy with the results? That remains to be seen. The more I improve my information of the issues and candidates the more I'm convinced that we are in very serious trouble. I don't think we will ever get back on track without a lot of hard painful repentance.
~I know that my Heavenly Father loves me. I'm humbled by the confidence that he places in me. I want so badly to fulfill the mission that he has for me.
~ It scares me when I think of how fast the eight years of my marriage have flown by and look ahead to the next eight. The time is just slipping through my fingers. By then my kids will be teenagers! I'm not ready!
"This life, as a dream, our time, as a stream, flow swiftly away and the fugitive moment refuses to stay."
~ Do you ever look back and feel like an idiot for the things you said and did? I feel that way often. I look back at college and think of how naive and silly I was. I look back to when I only had one baby to take care of and how I felt totally overwhelmed. One baby? That sound like a cake walk now. At the time I felt pretty good about myself. In retrospect, I shake my head and realize how little I had to be proud of. I guess I'm being harsh on myself. After all a girl has to learn these things at some point. It's funny and a little embarrassing. One day, years from now, I will read this blog and think about how silly and naive I was when I was a young mother and how much I had yet to learn.

The Babies part 438

 The latest and greatest around here is our fancy new camera. We took the kids out the other day and had fun trying our hand at professional looking portraits. We have a lot to learn but I thought these turned out well. I haven't done any photo shopping on these and we had to shrink them so it wouldn't take ages to upload. Anyway these will make a good baseline for us to judge our improvement.

Journey to the Temple part 2

WE DID IT! No, it didn't take all day and into the night to get to the temple. This is just another beautiful picture Mathan took.
       We started our journey at 4:30 in the morning. Well, actually I started my journey at 9:00 pm the previous evening when I was lying in bed trying really hard to go to sleep. And we all know that sleep never comes when you're trying to sleep. Anyway I finally fell into fitful slumber and had a decent amount of rest before morning came.
        Our wonderful stake president gave us a great send off. He encouraged each of the youth to find a spot on the temple to call their own and to promise themselves that they would return there on the day they receive their endowments. He talked about how this journey would be difficult for some and easy for others. He encouraged us all to lift and help each other along the way and to persevere. Then we were off.
         Two girls have been my special walking buddies each morning and they waited till Mary, Mathan and I were ready to go, which wasn't till most everyone had left. When we finally got outside I gave a whoop and ran through the parking lot. I was so excited to finally be going after all the preparation!
        We started out going nearly four miles an hour and at that pace we quickly caught up to and passed much of the group. Of course we weren't trying to get ahead, that was just our normal practice pace. It was actually really fun to be able to walk a few feet with most of the people on the hike and to say hello and cheer on everyone as we passed.
       5 miles passed quickly and easily, ten miles passed with a much needed potty break and water refill, and I was still feeling good and motivated. 15 miles came much slower than the previous 5 mile increments. My feet were aching by then and my legs burning. We had kept up our speed and spirits really well, but after 15 it was much more of a challenge to keep our minds off the pain. We kept joking about how great our elbows and earlobes felt. No pain at all there. Then came our manna from heaven. A little four passenger airplane flew over and we thought is was pretty cool. Then it circled back and dropped twinkies on the road! That was a nice little lift and distraction.
        I think the hardest part for me came about mile 18. We had just flagged down the portable potty and I sat on the ground to stretch and rest for a while, but when I got up the muscles in my legs were screaming! The best I could do was toddle with stiff knees. It was really painful for a while, but finally I worked through it and could walk more freely. At mile 20 I discovered a few blisters but I didn't care at that point. Just two more miles! The walk up to the temple was beautiful and much less difficult than I had imagined. I pictured myself crawling on hands and  knees, but all I had to do was put my arm around Mathan's waist and we just plowed up that steep hill together. It took us 6 1/2 hours from the time we started walking.
      It felt so good to be finished and to sit with Mathan in the special spot that we have had since out dating days. I have to admit I felt so dirty and uncomfortable in my sweaty sunburned state. The temple presidency had asked that we not loiter around, so we didn't stay long. We will be going back soon, properly dressed, to do baptisms for the dead for whom we walked. My parents got out of the temple just as we arrived. We also saw Mathan's Aunt Lorna and Uncle Levell. They didn't believe us when we first told them how far we had walked.
     It has been an unforgettable experience. I'm looking forward to the baptisms and the closing fireside where we get to share all of our stories!
       

Journey To The Temple

In about 30 hours from now I will be embarking on a journey that I've been preparing for nearly the whole year.  For more than six months I've been walking in the freezing cold, blistering heat, monsoon rain, and northern Arizona wind in preparation for a 22 mile Journey to the Temple with the Holbrook Stake youth. I'm excited and nervous and READY! This has already been a learning experience and a blessing in my life and the main event hasn't even started. I wanted to record some of my thoughts so far.

* My body is strong and healthy and for that I am grateful. It is such a marvelous gift and I want to take care of it. I want it to be strong and beautiful and pure, like the temple.

* There is so much comfort in knowing that I am doing what I need to do to be prepared.  "When ye are prepared ye shall not fear" is a true scripture. I know it will be a challenge and it will hurt, but I know I can do it.

* Being spiritually worthy to enter the temple is a lot like being physically prepared to walk this distance. You have to be committed and focused.  You have to do things everyday that will keep you on the path to the temple.

*  When I focus on the obstacles in my path or the enormous distance that I have to cover, I get discouraged. I slow down. I stop.

* When I focus on my abilities and blessings and the distance that I have already come, I am encouraged and strengthened.

* Covenants are powerful. When you make a covenant with Heavenly Father he gives you the power to keep it, but you have to choose to use and strengthen the power given you.  I have all the body parts necessary to make this journey, but I have to choose to use them and strengthen them by daily excercise.

* Heavenly Father recognises our efforts and hard work and blesses us.  He takes our best effort and makes up for what we lack.

* Being pushed to the limit of your strength is always a humbling, clarifying, prioritizing experience.
        

Summer Synopsis

 

Here are a few of the major events that I missed... a solar eclipse not the least among them.

Andrew's graduation went off with much pomp and circumstance. It was the 10 year anniversary of my own graduation. Pretty nifty!

   Lilly had her first birthday and Ellen had her fifth. Much fun and cake were had by all.

      Mathan's 93 year old grandma Ida was cajoled into a leather jacket and onto a Harley.

The young women and I enjoyed our long awaited trip to temple square and the Manti pageant. They've been wanting to go for years and it did not disappoint.

Stayin' Alive

Hello multitude of people that read my blog. Life is good. We are all healthy, happy, and busy. My summer long silence was due in part to laziness brought on by busyness, and a dash of technical difficulty...more to follow Lilly's nap.

Spring Fever!

I rearranged my living room today...This happens roughly every six months. It's a sure sign that I'm feeling restless and unsettled.  Some women change their hair color..I rearrage the furniture. It could be the time of year. School lets out soon and the summer fun and summer speed will begin, but I'm sure it's deeper than that. It's that old impatience and thirst for change that gnaws on me every now and then.
I heard somewhere that Americans are basically hard wired to look for greener pastures. The pilgrims came here in search of it, and generations after them moved here for a new start and better opportunities, and that desire has been passed down to us. So you see, I'm not discontent. My wander lust is genetic!
I keep singing "Little Purple Pansies" to myself , but sometimes I just want to get out of this town! Sometimes this little corner of the garden seems full of weeds and I want to move! There are things that I love about Woodruff, things that you can't find anywhere else, but there are a lot of things that I could do without.
So what's keeping us here?
I feel needed here. That's one reason. There is a lot of good that needs to be done. I can't deny that I love feeling useful and valued. There are so few people here that can do what I do, whereas in bigger places people with my abilities are a dime a dozen. As much as I want change, I don't like it. Making a new start sounds exciting, but it's painful too.
I know that we won't stay here forever. I can feel that there are other things in store for us, but what?  And when? I've never wanted to put roots down here.  Since the beginning I've thought about moving, but it never seemed right. Is it right now? I don't know, but it does seem closer.

A disjointed, all over the place, random post

!     I spoke in church today. I always get super nervous, but I'm always grateful for the things I learn. Um.. and I    always cry. Even when it's a dry topic. It was not a dry topic today.
@    Today is my wonderful Mother's birthday. We had her over for lunch and used a table cloth and our best china. Love you mom!
#      My little brother cracks me up. He was doing Strong Bad impressions while we played blockus.
$     My mom and I are plotting to buy a boat and cruise Lake Powell and Havasu. Preferably one that doesn't require man power (read husband power) to load and start. We're becoming quite independent these days due to the many nights that our men have to spend on the rez.
%    Our garden is growing! We threw caution to the wind and planted early this year and are crossing our fingers that we don't get a late freeze.
^       I love my husband more than I thought possible. I am truly blessed.
&      I love my children. The other night we all went to the park around sun set and played tag and blew dandelion seeds everywhere. It was one of those moments when you are overwhelmed with deep, real, satisfying joy and you know that you are doing what heaven intended.
*       I'm leaving in half an hour to attend a girls camp meeting. I asked the YW what exactly a cabin mom does. Cool cabin moms bring fun stuff to do and let the girls stay up late. Boring cabin moms sit and read and yell at the girls when it gets late. I plan to be a moderately cool/boring cabin mom with an added measure of annoying enthusiasm about early rising. If I remember correctly YW leaders are supposed to have annoying enthusiasm for early rising.  

The Babies!

May was in a play called "Go Fish" She was an adorable crab with oven mitts for pincers. Great job May! She is missing her two front teeth and has more on their way out. She is doing well with her reading. She likes to help with scripture reading every day.
Ellen decided she needed a hair cut and chopped a chunk of hair right in the front and some of her pony tail.  I cut bangs to cover the short spot and gave the rest a trim. Ellen was crying at first when she realized how bad she looked, but she really liked the new do. She is so strong willed. It seems like a constant power struggle sometimes, but she always surprises me with bursts of sweet thoughtfulness.
Thomas enjoys singing in church. He often sings along with the hymns and makes up his own words. Tonight he was singing Ringle Bells (Jingle Bells). He likes to have everything where it belongs. He puts things away without being asked and sometimes he gets upset when things aren't right. He likes to repeat the last word he hears with a questioning inflection.  Thomas, let's go home.  Home?
Lilly likes to talk about her Dada all day long. She also growls a lot when she's a little unhappy. She loves grabbing everybody's hair, especially Mathan's and Thomas's. Jewelry is also one of her favorite things. She love to pull on and taste necklaces and finger diamond wedding rings. She has a taste for the real thing. Plastic beads just don't cut it.

Stuff and Nonsense

*We attended our stake conference this weekend and have enjoyed it very much. The kids made it through the first hour fine and the second hour with only two trips out. Pretty impressive, no?
* Ben and Amy and Anna and Carl came down for a hurried visit and we went to see Andrew as Mayor Shinn in The Music Man. May stayed home from school so she could spend the day with Isaac and Hyrum.
* Andrew was absolutely amazing. I mean he stole the show. We were so proud of him.
*The weather has been manic as usual. Hot sunny and breezy one day and cold snowy freezy the next. I guess winter is having one last hurrah.
* I've been rereading Mere Christianity. It makes a lot of sense the first time and more the second. It's amazing how different parts of a book stand out and change as you go through different stages of your life. It's like you're reading an entirely different book.
* The Tooth Fairy almost blew it the other night. May kept stirring in her sleep and I had to hit the deck a couple of times before I found the tooth. It didn't help that most of her body was on the pillow.
* I'm looking forward to the next few weeks! Spring Break, General Conference, and the Easter pageant make the cake. Easter egg hunts, new dresses, and sleeping in make the frosting.

I am ashamed!

Remember how the little crustacean on "Finding Nemo" says, "I am ashamed!" when he gets caught cleaning the tank?   I love that! Instead of a trite "sorry," he says, "I am ashamed," with conviction and a french accent to boot.  So . . . I am ashamed of my inconsistent posting and rather than trying to catch up, I'll just post a few recent pictures and some news.
                                                  
 This is our own Lilliputian. (Gulliver's Travels) We love her dearly. She's rolling and scooting all over the place and enjoys solid food very much. In fact if you hold her and a piece of toast at the same time she will swipe it with surprising coordination and speed. She also enjoys being taken out of church for happy, loud baby talk.

 Little May is losing teeth. Yes, my baby May is growing up so fast! She, not Ellen, is our Eleanor. (Sense and Sensibility) She is calm and logical and wants to do everything correctly and sensibly, with an occasional outbursts of emotion. She is a great student and we are so proud of her! She has taken to calling me M-O-M instead of mom.

Tom Bombadil (The Lord of the Rings) is a jolly fellow. Bright green his beanie is and his boots are yellow . . . well red. Thomas likes to wear a tie all day these days. Another of his favorite pastimes is snuggling up to Great Grandma Ida, sharing her blanket, and popping packing bubbles with her. Lately, he has been heard to heave a huge sigh of relief after the sacrament meeting closing prayer and say aaaaamen!

Ellen, not May, is our Marianne. (Sense and Sensibility) She says her heart is very colorful. She is loud and long in her moments of anger and despair, and profuse in her praise. She often says, "Mom, you're the best cooker, EVER!" She continues to insist on wearing dresses everyday and I continue to insist that she wear a shirt under the sleeveless ones.  When she forgets to put on a shirt or when she gets in trouble she asks, "Do you not love me?" I tell her that I love her no matter what. Maybe I'm too harsh for her delicate sensibilities.

 

 No rest for the wicked! I'm staying busy with my babies, the library and Young Women. It's shaping up to be a busy year in YW with some major activities that require a lot of preparation.  In October we will be hiking 22 miles to the temple in Snowflake and being baptised and confirmed for a person in each of our families. For most of the young women the research will be no easy task, because they have been members for many generations. This, plus girl's camp, the Easter Pageant, and possibly a trip to Salt Lake and the Manti Pageant are being planned.  It's going to be a crazy summer with reunions, the summer reading program and maybe (fingers crossed) a trip to see David and Valerie and Yellowstone. And this . . . . .

is the man who is going to babysit! Right honey?  Mathan? . . .

SEE?  Christmas really did happen even if I didn't blog about it!

Mathan really is the man who keeps us all happy and sane. He has been working hard on a big project out on the reservation, which means he's gone a lot. Thank Heaven for the work, and thank Heaven for three day weekends!  In his spare time Mathan is enjoying his ham radio. He upgraded his licence and bought a high power radio and now he can contact people around the world. He is working on a better antenna for the radio too.  You know, when he's not busy with his four callings and his position on the water board.

Well that about does it. All I'm missing is literary characters for Mathan and myself. Hmm . . .

Come Unto Him!

1. I wander through the still of night,


When solitude is ev’rywhere—

Alone, beneath the starry light,

And yet I know that God is there.

I kneel upon the grass and pray;

An answer comes without a voice.

It takes my burden all away

And makes my aching heart rejoice.



2. When I am filled with strong desire

And ask a boon of him, I see

No miracle of living fire,

But what I ask flows into me.

And when the tempest rages high

I feel no arm around me thrust,

But ev’ry storm goes rolling by

When I repose in him my trust.



3. It matters not what may befall,

What threat’ning hand hangs over me;

He is my rampart through it all,

My refuge from mine enemy.

Come unto him all ye depressed,

Ye erring souls whose eyes are dim,

Ye weary ones who long for rest.

Come unto him! Come unto him!

Great Expectations

This is exactly how I feel when I sit down on New Year's Day to make a list of goals, and my problem is the same as Pip's. I love the feeling I get when I take stock of my life. The rub is actually doing something about it!


At certain times — meaning at uncertain times, for they depended on our humour — I would say to Herbert, as if it were a remarkable discovery:
"My dear Herbert, we are getting on badly."
"My dear Handel," Herbert would say to me, in all sincerity, if you will believe me, those very words were on my lips, by a strange coincidence."
"Then, Herbert," I would respond, "let us look into out affairs."
We always derived profound satisfaction from making an appointment for this purpose. I always thought this was business, this was the way to confront the thing, this was the way to take the foe by the throat. And I know Herbert thought so too.
 We produced a bundle of pens, a copious supply of ink, and a goodly show of writing and blotting paper. For, there was something very comfortable in having plenty of stationery.
I would then take a sheet of paper, and write across the top of it, in a neat hand, the heading, "Memorandum of Pip's debts;" with Barnard's Inn and the date very carefully added. Herbert would also take a sheet of paper, and write across it with similar formalities, "Memorandum of Herbert's debts."
 The sound of our pens going, refreshed us exceedingly, insomuch that I sometimes found it difficult to distinguish between this edifying business proceeding and actually paying the money. In point of meritorious character, the two things seemed about equal.
When we had written a little while, I would ask Herbert how he got on? Herbert probably would have been scratching his head in a most rueful manner at the sight of his accumulating figures.
"They are mounting up, Handel," Herbert would say; "upon my life, they are mounting up."
"Be firm, Herbert," I would retort, plying my own pen with great assiduity. "Look the thing in the face. Look into your affairs. Stare them out of countenance."
"So I would, Handel, only they are staring me out of countenance."
But there was a calm, a rest, a virtuous hush, consequent on these examinations of our affairs that gave me, for the time, an admirable opinion of myself. Soothed by my exertions, my method, and Herbert's compliments, I would sit with his symmetrical bundle and my own on the table before me among the stationary, and feel like a Bank of some sort, rather than a private individual